deja vu (after 2 years)

this very moment... i really REALLY feel like the past year has been nothing but deja vu.

in the past one year (trackback from now), started afresh in a new environment, seeking release from past experiences, trying to discover new pastures, double rejections, then troubled times leading to the same realisations, then trying so hard again and receive triple-consecutive defeats, coupled with occasional ignorance, then academic urgency hitting me in the same time of the year again.

the feeling is disgustingly pathetic. exactly same low 2 years ago. i wonder if i'll pull through (again). i feel like sulking all day, although i hope to heal soon enough (again) to get back to my priorities

The Stadium Arcadium
A mirror to the moon
(Mirror to the moon)
Well I’m forming and I’m warming
(Warming to you)
State of the art until the clouds come crashing
Stranger things have happened both
Before and afternoon
(Before and afternoon)
Well I’m forming
And I’m warming
(Warming to you)
Pushing myself and no I don’t mind asking now

the tune for this song is simply therapeutic. but i hate having to heal myself over and over again.